Aunt Catherine had always been a bit off, and everyone knew it.
Mother’s older sister, she had been a bright young thing in her day, and upon graduating from Brown with honors in philosophy, she took herself off to Europe for a year, fell madly in love with an English viscount, and got herself engaged. One way or another, however, the marriage never took place, and amidst great tribulation and sorrow, Catherine returned home to D.C., well-traveled and wise beyond her years. Father always claimed that it was this disappointment which left Aunt Catherine the way she was now, but Mother knew better; it was only after Aunt Catherine had written, published, and made a fortune off a fictionalized account of the adventure that Things began to happen. For one thing, she landed a job with a travel agency, taking curious rich Americans around to see the sights of Europe. For another, the book was made into a movie; Aunt Catherine wrote a sequel; and the sequel was made into a movie. She bought a log cabin in the mountains of West Virginia, and then she bought huskies to go with the house. She wrote another book, about – well, who knows what it was about, but it sold. She bought a cottage in the Lake District of England, and then she bought roses to go with the cottage. She thought of buying a private jet to fly between the two, but she had no intention of learning how to fly it, and so dropped the idea. She would have bought a seat in the House of Commons, but her personal integrity was such that she might have died in a fit of hysteria were the thought to ever cross her mind. Instead, she put the kettle on to boil, and sat down to write another book.
Mother’s older sister, she had been a bright young thing in her day, and upon graduating from Brown with honors in philosophy, she took herself off to Europe for a year, fell madly in love with an English viscount, and got herself engaged. One way or another, however, the marriage never took place, and amidst great tribulation and sorrow, Catherine returned home to D.C., well-traveled and wise beyond her years. Father always claimed that it was this disappointment which left Aunt Catherine the way she was now, but Mother knew better; it was only after Aunt Catherine had written, published, and made a fortune off a fictionalized account of the adventure that Things began to happen. For one thing, she landed a job with a travel agency, taking curious rich Americans around to see the sights of Europe. For another, the book was made into a movie; Aunt Catherine wrote a sequel; and the sequel was made into a movie. She bought a log cabin in the mountains of West Virginia, and then she bought huskies to go with the house. She wrote another book, about – well, who knows what it was about, but it sold. She bought a cottage in the Lake District of England, and then she bought roses to go with the cottage. She thought of buying a private jet to fly between the two, but she had no intention of learning how to fly it, and so dropped the idea. She would have bought a seat in the House of Commons, but her personal integrity was such that she might have died in a fit of hysteria were the thought to ever cross her mind. Instead, she put the kettle on to boil, and sat down to write another book.
Aunt Catherine was terribly fond of both her godchildren; in fact, she was so fond of them that hardly a month passed without their receiving a letter or a package or even a visit, such as this, from their doting aunt. And so neither Eddie nor Alice was particularly surprised to hear that she had come calling; rather, both were slightly alarmed at the timeliness (or lack thereof) of her arrival. “But we’re supposed to be leaving,” Alice hissed to her brother. “What will she say?”
“’Hello’ and ‘goodbye,’ among many other things, as you know,” her brother replied significantly. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a ‘and I brought you cookies’ somewhere in there,” he grinned.
They both smiled as they swung open the kitchen door and strode into the presence of their beloved aunt.
wow... sounds like someone I know :)
ReplyDeleteOr at least, the crazy dreams of someone I know...